SO YOU THINK YOU'RE AGROWN-UP?: If you really want to be one, here are some tools from life's toolbox that you absolutely have to learn how to use.

WHETHER you've been mooching off mom and dad for your entire existence or depending on your spouse to provide all of life's niceties and necessities, it's time to grow up and be an adult.

If you intend on thinking of yourself as a grown-up, learn to:

Write a check. Yes, you write the amount twice -- once numerically and once in whole words with a fraction for the pennies.

Do laundry. Stay away from hot and tumble dry on low and you should be OK.

Iron a shirt or blouse. Don't turn the iron all the way up.

Sew a button. You don't have to throw away the shirt. It can be repaired.

Tie a tie. Yes, even if you're a woman. Because a man might need your help.

Pay taxes. If you can't do it yourself, pay someone. And don't wait until April 15. That's like waiting for your car to crash before asking somebody how to fasten your seat belt.

Save money while you're young. Again, the car crash thing.

Contact your local government for help. Because it can help. That's why it's supposed to be there.

Pick between term and whole life insurance. First, of course, determine if you need either of them at all.

Roll a bowling ball, hit a golf ball or engage in some other kind of common sport that is often used to bond with others.

Build a fi re.

Light a grill.

Cook a steak. Get the grill hot. Sear the steak. Flip once. Don't poke it with a fork. Use tongs.

Crack and cook eggs, even if they're just scrambled. Counting on your mother, wife or McDonald's is not a sound dietary plan. Crack an egg. Pick out any shell fragments. Whisk it. If you don't have a whisk, use a fork. Basil and almost any other herb or spice, a piece of cheese or any diced cold cuts will taste good in there.

Write a thank you note. Start with "Dear," be sincere and end with "sincerely."

Administer first aid, rescue breaths and the Heimlich maneuver.

Hold a baby. It's going to happen. Someday, someone will hand you a baby. Don't hold it away from you like a dirty, wet towel.

Type. Not well. Not fast. But be able to write an e-mail or a note without taking all day.

Use Google. If you need to know it, you can find it out.

Know geography. Learn how to get into and out of the nearest large cities and learn the names of the municipalities around you. Many people don't know where they live.

They know their mailing addresses, but those are often completely diff erent from the actual locations of their homes.

Use a map.

Drive stick. If there's an emergency and the only car available has a manual transmission, and you don't know how to drive it, you're in trouble.

Check the oil level in your vehicle.

Parallel park. Most destinations in Berks County don't require you to have this skill. But what happens when you're invited to that home on that side street in Reading or on South Fourth Street in Hamburg? You can't just ditch your car in the middle of the road.

Jump a car. Not over it. Just get it running and take it right to a garage or mechanic.

Merge. It's not an opportunity to use the left lane and speed by the other cars and then cut them off. It's an opportunity to cooperate with your fellow man. Take turns.

Ride a bike. It's never too late and you'll never forget it.

Change a fl at tire.

Turn off water and gas mains and the electricity to your house in case of an emergency.

Use a fire extinguisher. Again, if you need to know how and don't, uh oh.

Swim. Another one. Don't say, "Uh oh," as the boat (or car or dock or whatever) sinks beneath you.

Listen. Shhh. Just be quiet and listen. If someone is speaking, there may be a good reason for it.

Avoid gossip. This is when you don't listen. It's probably not true, it is a waste of time and it doesn't help anybody.

Accept blame. If it's your fault, just admit it. You'll earn more respect than you will coming up with excuses.

Stop complaining. No one cares. They just want you to stop whining.

Speak in public. You don't need to be a Toastmaster, but you might someday have to deliver a eulogy or make a speech at a wedding.

Shake hands. Firm, but not too firm. Make eye contact.

Meet someone. When introduced, say that it is nice to meet that person and then repeat the person's name out loud to help you remember it. Oh, and shake his or her hand.

Think before you speak. Does the other person need or want to know this? Is it appropriate? Are you sure?

Calm down. Go ahead and write the angry letter or e-mail. But don't send it until you've reread it the next day.

Hug. Recognize when someone is coming in for one and then go with it. But for goodness sake, don't squeeze too hard or linger too long.

Use logic and reasoning. Gut instincts are great, but they don't win arguments.

Be polite. Don't assume she is pregnant. Be discreet when telling him his fly is down.

Book a plane ticket and a hotel room. If you have never done either, then you've probably never sent a postcard.

Send a postcard. If you're away for more than a few days and someone is taking care of your pets, plants or precious ones, send a postcard.

Build a sand castle. Not a necessary skill. But what sort of life will you have lived if you don't know how to do this?

Calculate a tip. And don't be cheap. Many waitresses and bartenders are very good at remembering customers.

Address a police officer. He isn't God. Nor is he a pig. He is a person. Don't be nervous. Just say, "Excuse me, Offi cer ..."

Use basic tools. Beyond changing a light bulb, you should know how to hammer and saw.

Paint a room. Edges fi rst. Then do the ceiling. Then paint the walls. Use a drop cloth.

Make a compliment. Nicely. "You look nice for a change" has a completely different meaning from "You look nice today."

Read quickly. You probably don't have all day. And if you do, go volunteer somewhere.